Let Go and Let God...
Last lent I came across a reflection on the words above. Let Go and Let God, and although many times these words slipped my desperate lips, in my grief I never felt them resonate in my heart.
Truly surrendering has been so hard for me. It is a daily battle to protect my mended heart, and trust fully my Lord. I am constantly praying for God to help me be not afraid, and to be totally His. I think that is why so many times, I am able to see where He is taking me.
Ironically, it was approaching lent this year when one afternoon, I got into my car, and the song from Disney's frozen "Let it Go" came on from my phone. A song that I hadn't heard in a while, at a time I was struggling with letting go and forgiving a friend who hurt me.
When people hurt us, and we are in the trenches of life, it is impossible sometimes to let go. I couldn't let go, letting go meant giving up the little I had left, and I desperately needed to hold onto something. Even through I knew deep down that letting go of the hurt would be healing for me.
As the sadness came, and went, and came around again. There was always something that never left. It was the deep desire to be at peace.
I wanted to just be FREE. Free of the pain, and free of the suffering.
I needed my anxiety, my worry, and the stress associated from the pain to go away. I desperately needed to be in control of my life again, and I needed to be released from the shackles of fear. What if I give my hurt back, and release myself of the lie that I am not enough. What if I release the measuring stick? What could happen?
I pondered on this a bit, knowing that to be like Christ, I would have to imitate what He wanted me to do.
I tried to have this mind-set, and I said these words out-loud. "Let Go and Let God." But it was just mumbo jumbo words that weren't the truth at the time. I know what I needed to do, as it became so apparent where the Lord was bringing this forgiveness that I needed to give to my friend.
I needed my savior, because I couldn't do it alone, and I realized I wasn't letting God take control of this friendship. I wasn't loving my neighbor like I should have, and it was evident that my lack of letting God be in control, had created chaos in my life for a time being. What was I going to do, but simply give it to Him, and surrender my heart.
So today, lets look at it from another angle. Let's "Let God, and then Let Go." I honestly think that if we approach our Crosses in this light, by giving it to God, and trusting that He will take it away, that we can be released from our shackles.
Those situations, those crosses that make the skin on our backs really thick. When we feel desperation and physical and mental exhaustion, because of Our Cross. We have to keep focus on Christ, not because we should, but because we have no other choice. It's our only option, to be in total love with Our Lord and Savior.
And when we give it to Him, it's then we are finally able to Let GO!