The Ugly Shoes

I’m Broken and It’s Beautiful

This song ya’ll....I can’t stop playing this. It’s so loud in my car that I giggle at how the bass rattled my windows and soon enough I’m belting out these words in proclamation that this is my life.

I listen to the words fill my ears as I’m singing along, I just can’t help but think how much we desire all of this.

To be known by the Father in all of our brokenness. To be loved by the Father in the ways we hide our pain from the world for fear they will not understand and judge us.  

The feeling of being broken and just wanting to be free to be broken. I imagine I’m spinning with my arms stretched wide like a little girl with a beautiful dress twirling for the Father.

It takes a lot for us bereaved parents to admit we are broken, because of the judgements associated with grief.

People want to fix us. They want to change us, back to who we were before we experienced the death of our child. But we can’t ever go back to who we were before.

We are broken!

Sometimes we feel ugly with all of our sadness, our pain, our hurt, our doubt, our dirty laundry.

But Our Lord, holds us, he doesn’t fix us, he knows us, he whispers you are enough, you are broken but you are so beautiful.

We can be all of that brokenness, sadness, hurt, lonely, afraid, and still be in total love with Our Father. 

Jesus comes to us with his broken body on the Cross to imitate to us what broken and beautiful looks like. What Divine Mercy articulates and instead of looking away we kiss him. It’s in his brokenness he makes new wine. 

We are broken, shattered, stained, transformed, and made new. 

Our story is different, sometimes unwanted, but when you know our hearts, really know our hearts all we want to be is LOVED. 

Can you enter into our suffering with us and love us? 

Kelly Breaux