Prayer of Gratitude after a Miscarriage

At first glance, the idea of being grateful for a miscarriage may feel impossible or even make you angry. Experiencing gratitude after the loss of a child doesn’t mean you are thankful they died, but so thankful they lived. Allowing both of these feelings to be true in grief can take time. Rachel Eligon, a Red Bird mother, writer, and artist, took months to be able to write this prayer after the death of her son. We thank Rachel for sharing it with our Red Bird community.

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Dear Lord,

Thank you for the gift of (Baby’s name).

Thank you for the time that you gave me with him/ her. 

Thank you for trusting me to love one of your littlest ones in a world where so few would see his/ her value.

Thank you for allowing me to take part in the creation of a soul so beautiful, he/she was ready for Heaven right away.

Thank you for giving him/ her eternity basking in the light of your face, even after so short a time here on earth.

Thank you for allowing me to know about him/ her, so that I could call upon my little saint in Heaven.

Thank you for holding onto me so tightly in the midst of my grief, even in moments I do not feel it or do not believe you are there.

Thank you for loving me even when I blame you or utter cruel words at you in the heat of my pain.

Thank you for the good you are working in my broken heart, even when I cannot imagine what good could come of this.

Thank you for the gift of your dearly beloved Son to this world, that through his most sorrowful Passion and glorious Resurrection, I might live in the hope that I will see (Baby’s name) again in the world to come.

Thank you for the gift of the Blessed Virgin Mary as my mother, in whose sorrowful and afflicted heart I may find the strength, courage, and understanding I need to walk this path.

My Lord, the cross of miscarriage is a great and heavy burden, one I never desired and one that is hard to accept and to carry. You know the depths of my pain. Help me to always to trust you are carrying the cross alongside me. 

Grant me the grace to always see my child as a gift, to understand that, rather than taking something away from me, you have added something indescribably beautiful to my life.

Help me to see my pain as a reminder of the love I have for my child rather than an irritation or inconvenience.

Fortify me with the strength I need to continue forward on the life of virtue, trusting in your plan even when I do not understand, that I might one day win the glorious crown of Heaven as (Baby’s name) has. 

Thank you again for (Baby’s name.) As deeply as I hurt, I am grateful he/ she exists. I would take all the hurt again for love of him/ her. I offer you even my pain as a sacrifice of praise. 

Amen.

Rachel Eligon is Catholic painter and writer living in Burbank, California. She and her husband Alex are the proud parents of one beautiful baby boy, Jude, miscarried on August 4th, 2024. In the grief that followed Jude’s passing, Rachel found herself more and more drawn to religious art and writing. While these works were initially simply her way of speaking to God in the darkness and grappling with her pain, she now firmly believes God has called her to share them with others who might find comfort and consolation in them. You can find more information about her and her work at rachelmeligon.com.