A PRAYER RETREAT
Talk 1
The Wrestle with Grief by Kelly Breaux
Talk 2
Learning to Lament by Elizabeth Leon
Behold and Be Held is a 2-hour retreat plus 1-hour of fellowship designed to offer intentional, prayerful care for the hearts of parents grieving the loss of a child in pregnancy and infancy.
The event consists of a series of video testimonies and song reflections, followed by a reading of children’s names amidst a candle-lighting ceremony.
Gathering Overview & Quick-Specs
Duration: 3 Hours (1 Hour Fellowship + 2 Hours of Content)
Recommended Timing: October Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (October)
Format: Fellowship and Refreshments, Video Testimonies and Discussion, Candle Lighting and Reading of Children’s Names
Audience: Grieving parents who lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death.
Retreat Format
Gathering & Fellowship
Check-In & Hospitality: Welcome attendees with refreshments, distribute resource packets, and direct parents to their tables.
Ambient Atmosphere: Play soft background music while participants settle in and connect.
Be Hold & Beheld Retreat
Welcome & Opening: Lead an opening prayer and explain housekeeping items (restrooms, refreshments).
Talk 1: Wrestle with Grief
Video: The Wrestle with Grief by Kelly Breaux (29:55)
Song: In The Middle by Blanca (4:21)
Discussion: Table conversation using provided reflection questions while hosts monitor for 1-on-1 care needs.
Talk 2: Learning to Lament
Video: Learning to Lament by Elizabeth Leon (24:06)
Song: In the Twinkling of An Eye by Full of Eyes (8:22)
Discussion: Table conversation using provided reflection questions.
Closing & Reading of Names
Setup: Transition with soft instrumental music; explain the ceremony.
Prayer & Name Reading: Lead an opening prayer, then read each child's name slowly and reverently while parents light their candles.
Closing: Conclude with a prayer of thanksgiving, share ongoing support resources (such as the RBM Community App), and offer final warm thanks.
Retreat Planning
Step 1: Planning & Clergy Prep
Go to Engagement &
Marketing Toolkit
Start here to prepare your pastor, parish staff, and volunteers before promoting the event:
Event Planning Checklist (PDF) — Complete timeline from 2-3 months out through post-event follow-up.
Create a Registration Form — Be sure to require registrants to share their baby’s name for the Remembrance Ritual at the end of the retreat. Be sure to provide guidance for those who may not have named their baby yet.
Download Retreat Agenda & Facilitator's Guide — A step-by-step agenda and facilitation outline for running the Behold and Be Held perinatal loss retreat, with timing guidance that scales to your expected attendance.
Download Participants Guide (PDF) — Key retreat resources to provide for each participant.
Step 2: Marketing & Promotional Templates
Everything you need to invite families and get the word out across your parish:
Customizable Event Flyers (Canva Templates / PDFs): Print-ready 8.5x11 flyers designed for church vestibules and bulletin boards.
Social Media Graphics & Banners (JPG/PNG): Sized for Facebook, Instagram, and parish digital bulletin boards.
Bulletin Copy & Pulpit Announcements (DocX/PDF): Pre-written 50-word and 100-word blurbs for weekly Mass announcements.
Clergy Mass Invitations (PDF): Scripts for priests and deacons to invite families during weekend Mass announcements.
Step 3: Printables & Event Materials
Everything you need to invite families and get the word out across your parish:
Sign-In Sheet (PDF): Format for families to write their children’s names to be read during the General Intercessions or brought to the altar.
Certificates of Life (PDF): Printable certificates for parents who lost children before birth or baptism. Consider making a post-mass announcement encouraging parents to sign up to receive a certificate of life.
Welcome Desk & Reception Signage (PDF): Directional signs, memorial table tent cards, and name tags.
Prayer cards and Family Support Tri-Fold (Optional): Available to order directly through Red Bird Ministries.
Step 4: Follow-Up
Keep post-liturgy gathering simple, warm, and low-pressure:
Download Reception Script & Hospitality Guide (PDF) — Layout suggestions, refreshment checklists, and facilitator welcome scripts.
Guiding Families to Deeper Accompaniment
The Mass of Remembrance is often the first time a grieving parent steps back into church after a loss. Use the reception to connect attendees with your certified Red Bird Leaders for ongoing 1-on-1 accompaniment. QR REGISTER RBM…
Step 5: Follow-Up
Guiding Families to Deeper Accompaniment (Anna to fine tune)
The Mass of Remembrance is often the first time a grieving parent steps back into church after a loss. Use the reception to connect attendees with your certified Red Bird Leaders for ongoing 1-on-1 accompaniment. Consider having a QR code posted for families to register for support with Red Bird Ministries.
Engagement & Marketing Tool Hub
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Bulletin Ad
To share the ministry with local families, an ad is an effective way to connect volunteers with those in need.
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Bulletin Announcement
A great way to tell your parish that Red Bird Ministries support is available.
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Flyer
Our flyers are beautifully designed and are perfect for sharing your Mass date, time, location, and offerings.
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Social Media
Our social media graphics can be used on various platforms including bulletins, websites, social pages, Flock Note, & more.
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Certificate of Life
For families who have experienced the loss of a baby through pregnancy.
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Sign In Sheet
Our sign-in sheet facilitates easy reading of children's names during Mass by our leaders.
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Grief Support Registration
These sign up sheets are great for families to register for support, or to find potential volunteers to support the ministry.
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Prayer Cards
Optional:
We offer lovely prayer cards that families can use to pray together and keep as a reminder of the memorial mass. -
RBM Trifold
Optional:
Print these trifold brochures to give to families at the Mass of Remembrance.
Frequently asked questions
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Behold and Be Held is an annual perinatal loss mini-retreat offering intentional, prayerful care for parents grieving the loss of a child in pregnancy or infancy. The gathering includes video testimonies, song reflections, and a closing candle-lighting ceremony where each child's name is spoken aloud and remembered.
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Any parent who has lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. This includes losses that happened recently and losses from many years ago — grief doesn't follow a timeline, and you're welcome whenever you're ready.
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All grieving parents are welcome, including fathers and partners. Grief touches the whole family, and this space is held for anyone who has carried the loss of a child.
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Facilitators hold small-group conversations with care and confidentiality. What's shared in discussion groups is meant to stay within that group unless someone chooses otherwise.
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Some parishes reported 40-50 attendees, while larger ones had up to 300 families.
Regardless of how many families attend, Jesus tells us in scripture to feed our sheep, not count them. Love the families He entrusts into your care.
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Most families welcome the idea of bringing a photo of their child to the Mass, but some pastors prohibit photos on the altar.
You may want to consider consulting with your pastor to determine if it's possible to relocate the table to a different location.